The Ballerina Story
I have always dreamed of having a “Caitlyn Mary Ballerinas” collection of photographs, creative video works, and oil portrait paintings. My love for ballerinas comes from my own experience of growing up as a dancer. I have always had a very deep, loving and nourishing relationship with dance. My personal dance practice combined with photography, videography, and fine art, has become one cohesive creative process that has given birth to my Ballerina Collection.
Video by Caitlyn Mary and Taylor Sim | Music by the Sun Harmonic
Chapter 1: My love for Dance
It all began when I was a young girl— I was a little ballerina and I absolutely loved going to dance class. Looking back from this side of life, I would describe myself as a very focused and passionate child. I had a strong desire to “do things right”, and would always be found dancing at the front and centre of my group. I always looked up to the “big” ballerinas that I got to see in the dance studio (just like any little ballerina would)— I dreamed of becoming a real ballerina one day.
Fast forward 20 years later— that professional ballerina dream obviously didn’t quite happen, but I did take dance lessons for the majority of my life, and was a dance teacher at my local studio for 6 years.
The beautiful thing about dance is that it gives pure energy to your heart. The feeling originates in your toes and runs through your whole body, all the way to your fingertips.
Progress is slow— for everything— especially when it comes to dance training. Working at strength, flexibility, and mobility is something that requires daily practice. But not only that… you have to be connected to your body, your mind and most importantly, your heart and spirit. Dance is a physical expression of the human experience in the world we live in… it’s an expression from deep within.
You can’t fully dance if you can’t feel it in your heart. That is my opinion anyways.
Ballerinas show immense strength with complete elegance and grace.
That’s why I love them.
Chapter 2: The Photography
Even as a little girl I loved photography. I remember taking my mother’s camera (which at the time was an expensive film camera… oops!) and styling my little pony toys in the garden for mini photoshoots. My favourite childhood memory of my “styled shoots” was one of my dog, Kimba. She sat so patiently while I added some blush to her cheeks and possibly some eyeshadow to her “eyelids” (lol!). I placed with creative intention a beautiful bouquet of flowers beside her (she still hadn’t moved and inch) and there it began— a little photographer in the making.
(Thanks Mom, for letting me explore my creativity with your expensive things)
Once I started high school, I started working a minimum wage job at a coffee shop to save up and buy my first pre-professional DLSR. In my later teens, I began curating elaborate passion projects with my dance friends. I would organize styled dance shoots and would create the wardrobe, do their make-up, and choose interesting locations in nature to shoot. I also started exploring dance through creative videography. I had no plans for these projects at the time, other than just to satisfy my creative urges (my friends also had a lot of fun doing them— us girls love our photos… right?!)
I later began photographing dancers at a professional level in my early adult years and learned that this is something I want to do for the rest of my life. In my early 20s, I started photographing professional dancers and had incredible opportunities to photograph dance events including the FLUX Dance Festival in 2016 in London, Ontario, and the Four Seasons Project with Dasein Dance Company in 2019 in Toronto, Ontario.
To this day, I continue to work with ballerinas of all ages, and have exciting plans to collaborate with a professional ballet company in London, Ontario called “Atelier EnPointe” this upcoming year. That being said, I look forward to continue to share my work with professional dancers moving forward in my creative career, hopefully including not only ballerinas, but contemporary dancers as well.
Photographs by Caitlyn Mary
Ballerina: Ava
When I photograph dancers, I completely lose the concept of space and time. That’s how I know it feeds my spirit.
Chapter Three: The Paintings
This is the most magical part of the process— when my photographs come to life as delicate, precious oil paintings on canvas.
I clearly remember when I began falling in love with portraiture. I was about 10 years old when my mother bought me a book called “The Faces Book”, which taught me the basic skills of portrait drawing. I was very fascinated with the process of drawing people.
I have always thought humans were beautiful; therefore, it didn’t take long before I became very passionate about learning how to draw a realistic looking human. From then on, my love for celebrating the human body through art only grew.
Dance, photography and art became my entire life all through my teen and young adult years. I remember it was in grade 12 when I painted my first ballerina painting in black and white oil paints. It was a gift for my dance teacher at the time (who I continue to look up to)— that painting lives in her home to this day.
It was during this time when I had began painting my own dance photographs, and started to seriously develop my portrait skills with the help of my high school art teacher. I am so grateful for the extra time she spent with me outside of class hours. She truly facilitated my journey of shaping my own lens— how to step back, ditch the photo, and just look at the painting. She really encouraged me when it came to practicing realism portraiture, but I also appreciate the consistent critiques and suggestions for improvement that came with it.
Today, when people ask me how I learned to draw and paint people, I will always respond with “the love and attention from my incredible high school art teacher”.
It’s hard to describe the feeling of seeing your own photographs turned into paintings, but I will try.
It almost feels surreal. It’s like they come to life in a different way.
When you see a dancer painted on a canvas, you can see and feel how elevated it is. You know that an artist literally created everything you see with their own hands over many, many hours. You see subtle brush strokes, the seamless blending of colour, the gentle texture of the canvas that just looks and feels so organic. There really is nothing else like it.
The ballerina painting collection holds a very tender, special and authentic place in my heart that will never cease to exist.
“Ava”, 24x36”, oil on canvas
“Learning First Position”, 16x20”, oil on canvas
“Violet”, 18x24”, oil on canvas
Follow along on Insta!
